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Truth [May. 16th, 2006|12:51 pm]
nefariously
We hadn't known one another for more than a minute.

She intrigued me. The way her lips pursed as her breathy words floated toward me. The way she tilted her head when my words flowed back. What words? Neither of us knew. My gestures were slow and decisive. Her eyes were soft and searching. She was terrible at hiding her smile.

We hadn't known one another for more than an hour.

My hand on the small of her back as I led her outside. My pupils dilated in the darkness. We were four blocks from her place, give or take. The wind whistled behind us, urging us forward. I listened beyond the sounds of the street and the sound of her breathing. I sensed it before I heard it. Most knives make a scraping sound, followed by a dull 'click', when they're opened. I heard it before I ever saw it.

We hadn't known one another for more than a night.

The water fell purposefully on my chest, streaming down my naked body. I turned the knob further, and felt the hot water sting my flesh. The room was steamed, my thoughts were clear. Every day of my life had trained me for that moment. I slowly removed the gauze from my right arm. The knife had been sharp and the cut was clean. It would not scar. I wish it had.

Her hands reached around me and slowly, carefully, lovingly washed me clean. Her hands and her femininity cleansed my body and soul.

I would never have expected to find something so right from a night that went so wrong.
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You are not a man if... [May. 5th, 2006|06:54 pm]
nefariously
You walk up stairs one at a time.
You cannot park perfectly straight.
You can't close the deal.
You can't change a tire.
You've ever let another person tool you.
You sit and wait while your girlfriend shops.
You've never punched someone.
Your ego is fragile.
You're not the best at something.
You can't drive stick.
You can't drive a nail straight.
You can't attract a woman.
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God damn personal ads are fun! [Apr. 5th, 2006|06:40 pm]
nefariously
So, in response to my obnoxious personal ad entitled "I will treat you badly...but you'll like it anyway" where I explained how selfish, distant, and superficial I am...a girl writes me this:

hey there,

so, i saw your post. nice and to the point. i like that. i have a warm
heart and am one of the most loyal friends you'd ever find, but i'm often
brutally honest. some people can't handle the truth and others just don't
like it. i don't like to sugar-coat things. i've dated guys who've treated
me well and others who haven't. i've had that 'everything you want but not
everything you need relationship.' i've had great sex and mediocre sex and
i've met guys who are truly unique. i like sarcasm and witty banter, but i
have a hard time finding guys who can keep up. so what is it that makes
you so confident that you're worth everyone's time? you sort of imply that
you don't intend to end up as anyone's wealthy husband . . . is that because
you're averse to becoming wealthy, or just married? ;-)

a little about me...

i am 25, white, single, never married
well educated, refined, intellectually astute
passionate and warm with a sarcastic sense of humor
work hard and like to play too
former investment banker . . . now a law student
played soccer in college
confident and sexy

i know what i want and how to express myself
i like the finer things in life -- i know a bit about wine and food and art
and cars, and am fairly well-traveled for a woman my age
i can talk about anything, am a dreamer, a romantic, and a deep thinker
have a wild side
i grew up in jersey and love the shore
i speak french and a little italian
have class and style

i've generally dated men at least a few years older than i . . . at 26, you
may be too young for me, but hey, you never know . . . every once in a while
i suppose there could be a 26-yr-old guy who's mature, confident, witty,
interesting, a good conversationalist, and who knows his way around a
woman's body . . .

here's a pic

your turn,

C


And my response:

Ah, a very serious email. Let's break it apart, shall we?

> hey there,
Well, hello there yourself. I didn't actually read this far into the
email until I saw your picture. I expect you'll do the same.

> so, i saw your post. nice and to the point. i like that. i have a warm
Of course you do!

> heart and am one of the most loyal friends you'd ever find, but i'm often
> brutally honest. some people CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH and others just don't
> like it. i don't like to sugar-coat things. i've dated guys who've treated
That was a great Jack Nicholson impression...I like how you just
worked that in like you hadn't planned it from the beginning.

> me well and others who haven't. i've had that 'everything you want but not
> everything you need relationship.' i've had great sex and mediocre sex and
I'm more about 'everything you need and want but never knew'
situations. They make waking up in the morning more interesting, and
that's what I'm all about. And, look at you, already thinking about
sex with me. You girls are all the same...

> i've met guys who are truly unique. i like sarcasm and witty banter, but i
> have a hard time finding guys who can keep up. so what is it that makes
> you so confident that you're worth everyone's time? you sort of imply that
Yes, I am worth everyone's time. Damn problem is that not everyone is
worth mine. Are you?

> you don't intend to end up as anyone's wealthy husband . . . is that because
> you're averse to becoming wealthy, or just married? ;-)
Are you asking me to choose between greed and commitment-phobia?
Why...I just couldn't choose.

> a little about me...
Ah, the obligatory Powerpoint bulleted resume...should I succumb to
convention, too?

> i am 25, white, single, never married
I'm 26, white, never married

> well educated, refined, intellectually astute
I learned everything I need to know from psychic friends and DVD FBI warnings

> passionate and warm with a sarcastic sense of humor
Passionate=horny. That's two times you've thought about sex this
email...and I don't even know if I like you yet...

> work hard and like to play too
What do you play? Twister? Street dice? Oh...is this another nookie reference?

> former investment banker . . . now a law student
Well, I'm sure your taxes are very correct. ;)

> played soccer in college
I played dodgeball in middle school.

> confident and sexy
I am so sexy that I will literally bring a stick to fend you off the
first time we meet.

> i know what i want and how to express myself
I know, I know....world peace.

> i like the finer things in life -- i know a bit about wine and food and art
> and cars, and am fairly well-traveled for a woman my age
Wow. You're lucky I'm high-maintenance, too.

> i can talk about anything, am a dreamer, a romantic, and a deep thinker
> have a wild side
I find that hard to believe. Quick, tell me something fascinating
about emus, Fibonacci numbers, and Lorenzo de Medici.

> i grew up in jersey and love the shore
Stop the presses. How bad is your accent?

> i speak french and a little italian
Damn. I was hoping you'd speak a little English.

> have class and style
Of course you do.

> i've generally dated men at least a few years older than i . . . at 26, you
> may be too young for me, but hey, you never know . . . every once in a while
> i suppose there could be a 26-yr-old guy who's mature, confident, witty,
> interesting, a good conversationalist, and who knows his way around a
> woman's body .
HA! Save that crap for someone you're not already thinking about
having sex with!

. .
> here's a pic
Okay, next I want a picture of you at the zoo....harassing the monkeys.

> your turn,
No, your turn.

> C
J
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Melinda, Part Two [Feb. 20th, 2006|02:15 pm]
nefariously
Her eyes sparkled when she laughed. It was enough to make me forget about the other women in the cafe for that extended moment. Her girlish giggles almost seemed incongruent with her light, breathy voice. Like a beautiful cello melody and a Spanish guitar harmony, her sweet sounds intoxicated me. She smelled of almonds and honey. The muted fragrance made me want to pull her close and breathe in her essence...along the beautiful curve of her neck my eyes had traced a dozen times in the few moments I'd known her. The soft skin of her hands felt like feathers in my palm. She was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

She made me fall in love with women all over again.

"So, what's your story?" She leaned over the table toward me, her fingernails dancing over my flesh.

"My story's a work in progress." I brushed the stubble on my chin momentarily as I leaned back in my chair.

"No...I mean, what makes you who you are?" She tried to hide her smile. It wasn't working.

"We're all different. You're one-of-a-kind, right? So am I." I squeezed her hand playfully and took a sip from my glass.

"No, I meet lots of guys that are exactly the same." She challenged me, arcing her eyebrows.

"How's that?" I knew what she meant, but I asked anyway.

"Maybe they look different, but they all act the same. They all make me feel the same way." Her eyes trailed off for a moment, as if that feeling were numbing.

"Maybe they just don't get it." I answered when our eyes met again.

"It?"

"This strange paradox of men and women....about us. It's a counter-intuitive."

"What paradox would that be?" She asked, a gleam of skepticism in her green eyes.

I took another sip of my ice water, looking her over again. I let go of her hand and placed it on the table. Dipping my finger into my glass, I began tracing my wet fingertip in little circles over the back of her hand. When I saw little goosebumps on her arm, I answered.

"Common sense tells us that beautiful women are rare. It tells us that all men are sexual beings and compete for these few diamonds in the rough. A beautiful woman, like you, has the world on a string." I paused to watch a slight blush come over her cheeks, then I went on.

"But," I lowered my voice slightly and she leaned in closer to hear me. "The fact of the matter is that there are millions of stunning women in this world. This city alone bas more than any man could ever meet. You see, a beautiful woman thinks she can have her pick of the litter, so to speak. In reality, she can only have her pick of the loveable losers that approach her."

She watched my finger idly stroking her hand for a moment.

"And just about every one of these beautiful women are terribly sexually frustrated. So few of those loveable losers that they meet have the ability to really fulfill those powerful needs for her. So few can make her feel like the real woman she wants to be. So few can awaken her sexuality and make her experience the life-changing pleasure that she desperately wants. It's true...a good man is hard to find. In fact, we are the true diamonds in the rough."

I stopped tracing the back of her hand and held my palm up on the table. She interlaced her small fingers in mine. Her eyes were slightly glazed as she stared at my hand.

When she looked up again, I smiled at her and placed a pen on the table in front of her.

"I should get back to work. We should continue this."

I tucked her phone number into my pocket as I squeezed her hand and leaned forward. Her lips were even softer than I had expected...and the spark of our first kiss was so strong that I let it linger. As I left her at the table, I noticed her goosebumps had returned again up and down her arm.
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Melinda [Jan. 31st, 2006|10:10 am]
nefariously
I was enjoying the scenery of LaSalle street and downtown Chicago. My eyes traced the architectural lines of the brick and morter forest around me...illuminated by glints of sunlight that danced off the metal and fiberglass sculptures rocketing by on my left. "The Hawk" came off the lake in a frigid way, gusting and trying to wrest my tie from around my neck. I'd purposefully left my jacket folded in thirds on the corner chair of my office. Nature's icy embrace keeps you sharp. It makes you aware of every muscle in your body. It reminds you of life's contrasts and heightens your awareness. I wasn't about to rob myself of that edge.

She shuffled toward me--a designer peacoat clutched close to her with both hands as if the snow itself had threatened to take it from her. Her little red heels seemed to bounce underneath the wool coat as she moved purposefully down the street. She looked around her with a bit of apprehension, as if she were in the Projects, instead of the financial district.

I watched her intently...curiously. When she was about a hundred yards away, our eyes locked. She stared at me, more defiantly with each step she took in my direction. Her blonde hair was wrapped up carefully behind her head in a very professional manner. One strand had escaped, though. It flapped maniacally against her forehead and made her look dishevelled. Fifty yards, she tried to tame the golden lock...with no success. Twenty yards. She broke my gaze and adjusted her coat again nervously. Ten yards. She glanced up at me from the corner of her eye and moved slightly to her left, giving me more of the sidewalk. Five yards. I slowed and stepped in front of her and held up my hand, indicating that she should stop. She looked up at me, confusion in her eyes.

"Your shoe's untied," I informed her.

She began to blush and looked down at her feet, only to find her expensive crimson heels. She looked at me quizically. "I don't have any shoelaces."

"I know."

"Then why did you say that?" I could see her synapses firing frantically...close to meltdown.

"To see if you knew." I let an almost imperceptible smirk go.

Her lips parted, but she said nothing. She just stared at me like I'd just levitated in front of her. I watched the emotions cross her face one after another.

"Aren't you cold?" She asked, after a moment of silence. Another Gortex-armored pedestrian bumped her as he passed. The starch in my dress shirt was almost frozen.

"Not usually...just don't get on my bad side." I held my arm out for her. Her gloved hand found my elbow and we started walking--this time in the same direction--back from where she came.

"Where are we going?" She looked up at me with those huge, azure eyes.

"We're hungry." I replied, glancing down at her.

She giggled intoxicatingly. "Yes, we are."
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Want [Sep. 22nd, 2005|11:52 pm]
nefariously
I need to feel every muscle inside you squeeze me as I cum.

I want to hear your small moans when I first enter you.

I want to taste your sweet sex when I've finished devouring every other inch of you.

I want to feel you squirm under my touch...my hands warming your skin...my nails leaving a map for my tongue to follow.

I want to paint your beautiful curves with my eyes...memorizing each line of your body so I can dream about them when we're done.

I want to watch your clothes drop to the floor as you stand before me, silently.

I want to take your hand, lead you away from the crowd...a mutual twinkle in our eyes that only we understand, yet the world will wonder.

I want to hear your sweet alto voice bantering with my baritone...a symphony of words and sounds that belie the true dance of our eyes and our minute caresses.

I want to catch your eye, and smile to myself when you coyly look away.

I want to find you, a diamond in the rough, standing confidently...almost defiantly in the most unlikely of places.
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Funny and Personal [May. 27th, 2005|04:37 pm]
nefariously
I was on craigslist.com looking for an apartment in the city I'm moving to, and I noticed they have a personals section that says "Strictly Platonic." So, basically anyone posting in this forum is looking for people to hang out with, but people who they will never even consider having sex with. Couldn't they just go to the mall, find the most repulsive human being there, and invite them to lunch? Ugly people, while generally pretty jaded, tend to have the most interesting things to say. And what does that imply about the other personal ad groups...that it's just a huge line of people waiting to fuck each other? Or maybe 'strictly platonic' is for asexual people...eunuchs and the sort. You would think people who have no interest in sex would start a commune or something...and make silverware. They could have all kinds of asexual, gender-neutral games like backgammon and a "Jump to Conclusions" mat.

And, why do they call them 'personals' anyway? I mean, I guess you're hoping to get personal at one point or another. But, then again, does that mean that the 'strictly platonic' group should be listed under another heading? I think so, seeing as how they want something completely impersonal. Maybe they'll call it 'Interesting Mall Lunch Buddies' or 'Great Personalities.'
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Giuliana Revisited [Feb. 13th, 2005|06:17 pm]
nefariously
Just a couple quotes from Giuliana's journal. The first is right after our fun week-long rendesvous, and the second was just days after she finally came to terms with the fact that no relationship was possible. If this isn't a lesson in itself, I'm not sure what is:


Jim... Jim... Jim... *dreamy sigh* I woke up to him every morning you know. It kills me that I woke up today staring at my striped sock :/ I don't think I've ever felt so comfortable with some one right off the bat... Sure there were times that I was self conscious of my body... but he seemed to like it and not to mind. His eyes are gorgeous.. oh my. I could get lost in them- I did a couple of times... he caught me by asking "what's wrong?". Nothing was wrong :) Nothing was wrong at all... in fact everything was perfect. It couldn't have been more perfect... I just wish that we would have had more time. Marcus said something to me though that was true... He said that no matter how much time you have it will always go by just as fast. He and Liv have been together for 4 yrs. 4 yrs! Just goes to show how fast time flies and it sucks.

He's just beautiful. I don't think there's a more perfect word...


And just a few days later, after a stunning metamorphosis:

Resentment yes. Hostility no. How can I say something to some ones face when all I have is a phone? "what is this relationship now? A phonecall a day?" I've said all I have to say. I've cried all I have to cry. I have no tears left, I'm sorry. Let the river run cold and dry. I don't have it in me to trust so easily anymore. From now on, I question everything.

There's never a goodbye until you die... life is funny and sometimes twisted.


Wow.
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Maybe this Friendster thing could be worth something [Dec. 28th, 2004|07:48 pm]
nefariously
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |BT - Flaming June]

So, bored on a night when I got stuck staring at my computer screen for hours. So, I started meandering through Friendster profiles of girls in my area. Found a couple interesting ones...including one Sarah, who put her IM name in the profile. She's a cute Indian girl...and said she had a big kundie (ass). I'm not really into big asses, but she looked slim enough in the picture...how big could it be?

Read more...Collapse )
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Elle [Dec. 8th, 2004|11:47 pm]
nefariously
I went on this interview today for a teaching job. It was fun...I wasn't really nervous because I didn't need the job, but I figured it would be fun and could turn into some extra cash. When I got to the place, I met my interviewer, a cute brunette named Elle. She was oh-so-professional when we met, shaking my hand (no man handshake thank god) and leading me to the interview room. Two more were supposed to show up (I guess we were all going to do a presentation in front of the others) but never did. So, it was just the two of us and she started by telling me about the position. I heard a few things that she said, but I was preoccupied with the scene that was going on in my mind. In my mind's eye, I was reaching out and gently running the back of my fingers across her cheek, tickling her earlobe with my finger before I moved it down to her lips. I pictured her parting her lips slightly with a small moan as I moved my body closer to hers.
She said something about questions. I paused, and made a kind of quizzical face, not quite sure what she had just said. Oh, she must have been asking me if I had any questions. I made up a seemingly insightful question and went on imagining. It was incredible...she never broke eye contact with me. I almost literally stared through her for five straight minutes, and she never broke eye contact. This girl had my attention. But, alas, onto the business at hand. I filled out the application before me and demonstrated my teaching style. She seemed impressed enough with both.
Afterwards, we continued to talk about the position, and I finally found a way to steer the conversation over to her. "So, have you had this job? Did you ever teach?" She said she hadn't...that she was more marketing-ish (or something along those lines). Was this girl claiming to have a business mind too sharp to waste? I licked my lips. There is nothing, and will never be anything, more attractive than an intelligent woman. But, this is yet to be proven...since we barely talked, and only in a business setting.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and some good conversation with a friend at a close-by coffee shop before heading home. I passed a grocery store on the way, decided to turn around and go back for a sandwich. When I got in line, there were two girls in front of me, a brunette and a blond. Beside them was a man talking on a cell phone (I think he was talking...he had a cell phone pressed to his melon, although I never heard him say anything). The sandwich maker behind the counter was working and absolutely no one was talking. I smiled hugely at the situation. I'd never seen so many people so close together trying to avoid eye contact or conversation. As each second ticked by, there was more foot shuffling and throat clearing. Finally, the brunette in front of me said some little comment. Finally, I laughed out loud and said "I wondered who was going to crack first!" She turned around smiling and hey, it was Elle. Pretty incredible, considering this store was about a 20-minute drive from where we'd last seen each other.

I grinned, "I thought it was you. Are you following me?"

Laughing, she said, "Well, I had to see what you were like OUTSIDE of work."

I wagged my eyebrows at her. "Can a man have no secrets?"

She grinned, then pulled her face back into that polite, professional grin that I'd seen earlier. Great, she sees this as some extension of the interview. We made some more small talk as her sandwich was finished. I found out she lives right across the street from the grocery store, at a place I used to sneak into the play volleyball. She extended her hand for another shake before she left. I pondered asking her if she wanted to sit together and eat, but I figured I'd let her go. She'd just had a long day (12 hours long) and obviously still saw me as a hiring candidate, so that was not the type of conversation I wanted to have. Regardless of whether I get the job or not, I'm going to have to call her and make arrangements to spend some time. She's either utterly fascinating behind all that professionalism or painfully boring and unemotional. Only one way to find out...
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